Changing Things

Lately things have been changing.

I started a new job in June. Not just a new job, but a new career. Legitimate, having to take college courses to work there, new job. It's been really exciting making this change, but really hard. It was a hard decision, leaving a job that I had been at for two years and really loved. Not only did I love my last job, but I was really good at it. 
My new job, I started out not loving and not being so great at. But day by day, it's gotten easier. I started picking up tricks to make it easier, and that's helped a lot. Now I look forward to going to work again because of the challenge. I've never liked being bad at anything, especially my job. So I've been trying really hard to get better at it, and I've definitely seen some improvement. Hopefully every day will get easier and I'll only start to like it even more.

Not only did I switch careers, but in August I started to get sick. Not just sick, but I was in pain. I'd go to the emergency room and have all kinds of tests (and medical bills) done and they couldn't find anything wrong with me. They chalked it up to high blood pressure (which I tried telling them I only had because I was in so much pain) or because I'm overweight. 
I saw specialists that did even more tests and came up with the same kind of non-answers. It started to feel hopeless. Not only was I in severe pain no one could figure out, but I was in so much pain I couldn't do my job properly and even became scared to drive. One day I drove home and not only passed my turn into my community, but I couldn't remember changing the stereo in my car from the CD player to the radio. Terrifying. I tried telling the doctors, Hey, I'm in so much pain I'm practically drunk driving here.

Thankfully, I have a good family doctor. She doesn't always have the answers, but she believes me. She knows me to the point that she can look at me and know that I'm in pain and how bad it is. She didn't give up on me. 
In turn, she referred me to a surgeon. He sent me for more tests, and said there was no reason for me to have any kind of surgery, namely the surgery that my family doctor thought I should have. The appointment was a disaster. I had him press down on my side where the pain was, which to me felt like a brick it was so hard inside. He tried telling me it was just my rib that I was feeling. I became frustrated and loud with him. He thought I was trying to get drugs. Finally, he said he'd send me for one last test. While waiting for the tests results to come back, my pain spiked. 

I wasn't sleeping at night. I was in so much pain that I started jerking myself awake in the night. So that was making my days even harder, I thought I was starting to go crazy. And even worse, the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me.

As a last ditch effort, I called in the troops. I made my mom call the surgeon. She explained we were waiting for test results. Over the phone they told her my test results were clear, everything came back normal. Then she did what only a mom could do. She threw a shit fit. She started going on about how much pain I was in, how much work I was missing and how she didn't know what to do. Thankfully, they talked to the doctor and decided to fit me in that same day. 

We went into the appointment not having much faith in anything. But then the surgeon came in. Even with the test results being normal, he believed me and the pain I was in. They fit me in for an appointment on a Friday afternoon. The following Monday they scheduled me to have my gall bladder removed.

The surgery went really well. My gall bladder was normal, which we expected it to be, but when I woke up in recovery, the pain I had was gone. I was still IN pain, but it was a different pain. Just waking up from surgery pain. 
It's been a week now since I've had my gall bladder out. I'm still pretty sore, bending down or turning at the waist is still horrible. Sneezing and coughing is traumatic. But I've still not experienced the pain I've had for the last three months. I can't get comfortable in bed, and one thing they don't tell you about laproscopic surgery is the gas bubble you're left with afterward. The gas bubble is enough to make you want to rip your hair out, its the most uncomfortable, painful thing. The nice thing is, this pain goes away. It takes a few days, but it does. I'm just waiting for the next few days when being so sore has gone away and I can wear pants again. It's exciting.

One other thing has changed in this whole process as well. While going through all these tests and being told that it was just because I'm overweight, I got frustrated. My frustration was mostly because I've always been overweight, and I've never been in any kind of pain. My tests results are always normal, so my cholesterol is good, I don't have diabetes, there's nothing wrong with me. Except for being plus sized, I'm healthy. 
The pain was so bad, I'd do anything to get rid of it. I'm a pretty heavy soda drinker, and I cut down to only two sodas a day. I started drinking water several times a day. I make sure to drink at least two bottles of water or two full glasses of water in a day, more if I can. 
On top of cutting back on soda, I also started watching my calories. I never changed what I ate, I just started to paying attention to the number of calories. I found a really great app that is available for both iPhones and Droids alike, called MyFitnessPal (it is also available online as well). My supervisor at work recommended it, it had helped her lose over sixty pounds. My best friend also uses it, and it helped her lose 30+ pounds. 

I've tried all kinds of diets. I've tried all kinds of exercise routines. There was a time that I was working out every morning and became frustrated because not only was I not losing weight, I was just tired from  getting up early and working out every day for several weeks. Nothing has ever stuck with me. Not that I don't want to lose weight, I'd like to be healthier, but I get frustrated and give up. 
However, counting calories works for me. I make sure to log everything, even if I know it'll put me over how many calories I should have in a day. It keeps me accountable. And seeing those numbers, it helps. It makes me take a ten minute walk to the end of the street and back. It makes me put my can of soda back in the fridge and grab a bottle of water instead. And it works. That's the best part. Just taking an extra thirty seconds to log in what I ate for dinner is helping. Its been about three weeks and I'm down almost ten pounds. 

The past six months have been crazy. Lots of changes. And going forward there will only be more changes, I'm sure. But I'm looking forward to it, especially since soon I'll be out of pain and will be able to enjoy each step along the way.

Also, one thing I can definitely recommend if you're counting calories and trying to lose weight? Totally get surgery. Recovering from surgery, you're not hungry (especially if your surgery is abdominal related) so when you do eat, you don't eat a whole lot so your portion control is amazing!

(Also, I don't really recommend having surgery, it sucks. But its nice to have a bit of a silver lining.)