Christmas Confessions

Christmas is upon us. We're under the 2 week mark at this point. It's impossible to not be thinking about Christmas every day. I feel like I should come clean about how I feel about Christmas.

I love presents. Not just getting them (although, I LOVE getting gifts!) but finding the perfect present for someone. While I'm a disaster at wrapping presents, I get into that too.

As kids, Christmas was always a big deal. As my sister and I got older, we got to be really bratty about it. Begging and begging to open presents early. And at first it was a few presents on Christmas Eve. Then it was ALL of our presents on Christmas Eve. Then, when we all got to the age of "We work different jobs/shifts" we'd open our presents as much as 14 days early.
I'd like to say I'm a patient person and just our scheduling caused us to open presents early. Which, for the most part, is true. However. I am a typical youngest child. Even at 25, I will sit and shake presents and beg and beg and beg to open JUST ONE present early.

I love Christmas music. In our family, it is a given rule. It is not Christmas until you hear "Happy XMas (The War Is Over)" by John Lennon. One year (my last Christmas in Michigan, actually) I didn't hear Happy Xmas until 7pm on Christmas Day in a random gas station. I was alone and burst out laughing. That's when it felt like Christmas.
I try to find lots of punk covers of Christmas songs, or just unique versions. (Check out My Chemical Romace's version of "All I Want For Christmas (Is You)". Delightful)

Some of my best memories of Christmas include my dad. Which, of course, are some of my best memories in general. I miss my dad every single day, but never more than I do in December. His birthday is December 1st, Christmas was a big deal for us as kids. And we lost him in January, not long after we'd taken the Christmas tree down.

So, this is the part where I get real and deep with you, dear void.

I am not a fan of Christmas in general. I am very bah-humbuggy. I wish there was just one week of Christmas, rather than the two months leading up to it. I don't like putting up Christmas decorations or fiddling with crap. While I like Christmas music, I really only like it for about 4 days of the whole Christmas season (but I will listen to Christmas songs in July and love the crap out of them).

I never liked family functions, and am glad to be rid of them, living 1600 miles from my family. In Florida we don't do a big Christmas dinner with ham and the fixin's. We go out for Chinese. We don't make a point to watch Holiday movies around Christmas time. I'm more likely to watch Christmas movies in the spring or summer than at Christmas.

A lot of my friends are disappointed to learn that I feel this way about Christmas. The truth is, I'm much more of a New Year's Eve person. Get all dressed up and drunk and kiss everyone in sight? That is MY holiday! Christmas? Eh.

When I was 16, my sister had moved from Michigan to Vermont. It was our first Christmas as a family where we were apart. My mom and I discussed it, and decided to for-go a Christmas tree. With just the two of us, there wasn't really a need for a big to-do.
We didn't get a Christmas tree again. For ten years.

Every year at Christmas my mom asks me, "Are you sure you don't want a tree? Would you like to put up some decorations?" And every year is a resounding no. We'll wait till there's young kids to decorate for. Which, judging by my sister and I, could be a while.
This year however, my best friends put up a gorgeous tree, which I couldn't help but talk about for a good hour. My company hosted a huge Christmas party with beautiful trees and lights and really got me in the Christmas spirit. My neighborhood has a Christmas Light competition, and I've enjoyed looking at the lights.

My mom took this as a sign: Tagan Needs A Christmas Tree.

We bought a cute little Charlie Brown Christmas Tree a few weeks ago, and I've been quite delighted with that. So adorable.

Apparently, it wasn't good enough.

I came home last night to a decent sized (fake) Christmas tree with just lights on it, and a box of neighbor-donated ornaments sitting on the floor. So, not to be a brat, I took my mom's gesture in good stride and decorated the Christmas tree. I enjoyed myself as I always did when we had a Christmas tree. The tree is pretty. My mom put a lot of effort into getting it set up while I was at work so I'd be surprised.

So maybe this year I'm less Ebenezer and a little more Buddy the Elf. (Smiling IS my favorite)

Either way, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas season. Filled with good memories, family and friends, the perfect present, and only a mildly overwhelming amount of Christmas music.

** Fun Note ** I did, indeed, listen to Christmas music while writing this blog. "A Santa Cause: A Punk Rock Christmas". Great album.